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Daddy's Little Girl

Chapter 8 

Casey glanced around, relieved to note that none of the medics or nurses were nearby. She hurried into Janet's office. "Okay, now what?"

Janet grinned, looked at her watch. "A new personal best? Fastest quickie achievable by the incredible Doctor Daniel Jackson?"

She burst into giggles. "Possibly."

"Now, I take a look and see how many little swimmers I can find. It shouldn't take long," Janet promised.

She gave a slight nod. "If...if there aren't...if there isn't any change..."

"Don't give up, Casey. If there isn't any change, we'll find some way for you and Daniel to have a family. We have a few years to work on the problem," Janet said, giving her best friend a wink.

"True," Casey replied, smiling. "I have to go wash up-"

Janet's eyebrow went up.

"Daniel can't...won't...take pleasure unless he's giving it as well," she said softly. "I'm sure he's always felt that way. I think his experience with Amelia made it more...important...to him."

"She really is a piece of work, isn't she?" Janet asked.

"She's a bitch," Casey responded.

"That, too."

"She...she never let him hold her. They never made love. She came to his tent, she fucked him, and left. She didn't even want to talk to him," Casey confided.

Janet's brown eyes went wide. "Was she nuts?"

"Apparently. Like I told my dad, Amelia used him like a warm, breathing dildo. The thing of it is, that's exactly how she made him feel."

"Poor Daniel," Janet murmured.

"He didn't exactly fight her off," Casey pointed out.

"Hey, he was young, single, male...and Daniel. He wouldn't have wanted to hurt her feelings by rejecting her," Janet pointed out.

"I suppose not. So instead he put up with it...while it continued to eat away at his very soul."

"This might be a mean thing to say, but considering what a bitch that woman is, maybe it's a blessing that things turned out the way they did."

Casey smiled. "We were both relieved that things turned out the way they did. Daniel said Amelia would have made our lives hell."

"No doubt," the petite doctor agreed. She held up the bag. "I need to get this done, before the specimen isn't viable."

"Right. I'm meeting Daniel for coffee before our briefing," the slender seer replied.

"As soon as I have the results, I'll call you," Janet promised.

"Thanks, girlfriend," Casey said softly.

"Like I told Daniel, I owe him," Janet replied, her voice equally as soft.

Casey glanced at the bag. Sent up a prayer to the gods and goddesses. "Okay, we did our thing, now you do yours."

The wicked grin that Janet flashed had her friend giggling again. She walked as far as the lab with the seer, then waved goodbye. Slipping inside, she closed and locked the door, hanging the sign that testing was in progress. She'd think of something to tell anyone who might want to know just exactly what she was testing. She could even pretend to be flustered about getting caught having phone sex with Paul. She didn't think he'd mind. She paused. Come to think of it, that wasn't such a bad idea...

A  A  A  A  A  A

Daniel had two cups of coffee waiting, his eyes trained on the door. Felt the entire room brighten when she came in, rushing as always. He shook his head slightly. She probably burned more calories just racing around the mountain than he did working out. He'd heard the comments regarding the fact that Casey never seemed to just walk anywhere.

"Hi, Handsome," she said, a bit breathless as she dropped into the chair across from him.

"Hey, Gorgeous."

"Janet went straight to the lab. She said she'd call as soon as she has the results."

He nodded. Felt suddenly nervous. What if his Immortality hadn't changed the status of his sterility? Before he could focus on that thought, that worry, he noticed the way Casey cocked her head to the side, pulled her lip between her teeth.

"Angel?"

"I think something has gone horribly wrong," she whispered.

"Where? What?"

She shook her head. "I'm not sure. One of the teams...I can't tell which one."

"Don't force it, babe. Just relax," he said soothingly. Experience had taught her - had taught both of them - that when she had any negative premonitions, her desire to 'see' details in order to stop whatever was happening, or at least give a warning to the people involved, made her tense; and actually interfered with any 'information dump' she might receive. She found it difficult to keep from reaching out, trying to grab whatever she could. Which only seemed to hamper the entire process. Daniel had learned that if he could keep her calm and relaxed, what she needed to see would usually come within minutes.

No one did more than take note that Casey was 'seeing' something when Daniel stood up, walked to her chair, then scooped her into his arms. He sat down in the chair she had been in, holding her in his lap, one hand moving up and down her back rhythmically.

"Deep breaths, Case. Slow and easy."

She focused on him, locked her gaze with his. Followed his lead as he breathed slowly, deeply. It was never easy to wait for the information to come to her, and this time was no exception, but she worked methodically to clear her mind, stepping through the ritual she used to center herself for searches.

"That's it, Angel. Slow. Relaxed. Just clear your mind," he said quietly.

Several SFs watched casually. By now, everyone in the mountain had heard about Casey Jackson's 'information dumps', and most of the SG team members had actually witnessed it occurring.

Jack came into the room, his hands in his pockets. Stopped short when he saw what was going on. Recognized in an instant the fact that Radar was waiting for an info dump. He moved to the table, sat down and waited silently, understanding that Daniel needed to keep Casey's attention focused.

"In and out," Daniel said. "That's it Angel, you're calm and relaxed."

There was no way she could have been either without him. She continued to stare into his eyes, mesmerized by the deep blue color...the love and warmth that hid in the depths, there for her, and her alone.

"Keep focused, Casey. Just you and me," he continued softly.

A flash of light. She closed her eyes. Waited impatiently for the images to stop whirling. The smell of gunpowder assailed her senses. It was SG-6. And they were in trouble. There wasn't going to be time to send anyone to them. But if the medical teams were waiting in the 'gate room, precious moments could be saved. She frowned when she realized that she didn't actually see the team members being wounded. She shook her head mentally, that didn't matter. And if the Marines opened fire as soon as the team was clear, they'd prevent any intruders from surviving long enough to attack those in the 'gate room, and wounding, possibly killing any others.

"Case?" Daniel asked.

"SG-6," she replied. "Call med teams to the 'gate room. And Ferretti and his guys need to be ready to shoot to kill as soon as they're clear."

Jack was on his feet. "Got it," he said, running for the door. Casey and Daniel were directly behind him.

A  A  A  A  A  A

Janet made up five slides. Just to be sure, she told herself. Carefully examined each one. "Damn!" she whispered. She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. She'd been certain she was right about Daniel's Immortality being the 'cure' for his sterility...

Klaxons went off, the noise causing her to jump. She scooped the specimen jar and the slides into the bag, hurried back to her office.

"Medical teams to the 'gate room, stat!"

Well, hell! She grabbed the nearest emergency kit and raced for the elevator. "Gurneys!" she called, pointing to three of them near the door. "I want one crash kit, and set ups for four IV's!" The medics who had been running back to the infirmary nodded, tossed the equipment onto the rolling beds, and raced after her.

Knowing only that SG-6 was coming home 'hot', the tension in the 'gate room and the control room was thick enough to be cut with a knife. Casey continued to tug on her lip, waiting for the Stargate to activate. When it did, she jumped slightly, unaware that those around her had done so as well.

"Wait until our people are out of the line of fire, then give 'em hell," Ferretti ordered his men.

Tense seconds passed by as the inner ring continued to spin, each chevron locking firmly, the light inside glowing brightly. When the event horizon opened with its usual 'whoosh' of power, those waiting to go into action tensed slightly.

Texas was the first through the 'gate. He didn't bother to wonder why the people waiting at the bottom of the ramp were doing so, he was only glad that they were. "See, I told you we'd make it," he said softly to the child who whimpered in his arms.

Janet raced to his side, checking the little boy, taking note of the injuries that she could see. "Gurney! What happened?"

"Jaffa. Sons-of-bitches showed up outa nowhere," Texas replied, gently relinquishing his burden. "Didn't take them long to figure out where we were hiding. They set fire to the whole damned village. We laid down cover fire, most of the villagers made it into the mountains and some hidden caves. We kept the tin men focused on us; managed to lead them in the opposite direction. Then we came across this family...they'd been away trading...walked right into the middle of the whole damned mess."

By now Tony had raced through, another child in his arms. Everyone could see the blood that covered the front of the little boy, and hearts lurched with the fear that the wounds would be fatal.

Major Parker and Murphy were next, followed closely by a worried looking man wearing simple, homespun clothes. Their hands and arms crossed, making a seat of sorts, the two SG team members were supporting an obviously pregnant woman. She was crying hysterically, repeating again and again in Goa'uld that it was too soon.

"She's in labor," Parker grunted, helping Murphy get her onto the nearest gurney. "From what we can understand, she's only about seven months along."

Janet took time to glance up at the control room, could see the faces of SG-1 as they watched. Had they not been warned...she shook her head. With luck, she could get this woman sedated, and stop the contractions that were wracking her thin frame.

Ferretti and his men opened fire; the armor piercing bullets taking out the three Jaffa who stepped into the 'gate room. Two security officers raced forward, dragged them clear of the event horizon.

"Close the iris!" General Hammond ordered.

"Watch out!" a voice called out, as one of the symbiotes of a now dead Jaffa began to crawl out from the pouch.

"Kill it!"

Three shots rang out, and the creature lay in pieces, the strange blue blood staining the floor.

General Hammond took a deep breath. Gave orders that the bodies of the Jaffa were to be taken to the SGC morgue, warning the security teams to watch for the other two symbiotes, reminding them that all safety protocols concerning the creatures were to be strictly adhered to. A warning that wasn't actually necessary. Another order to clean up the mess left behind was issued, then he turned to SG-1. "Let's have that briefing now," he said. Before Casey could move away, he put his arm around her slender shoulders. "Something tells me you saved those people, Casey."

She smiled. "I hope so."

"What about the other villagers?" Daniel asked.

Cocking her head sideways, she closed her eyes. Began to sort through all of the images she'd been 'given'. Carefully examined the eyes of the Jaffa, 'listened' to the thoughts she could hear. "They think that all of the villagers escaped through the 'gate. That SG-6 and that family were the last ones. Since they were looking for slaves, they'll leave...they're probably doing so now."

Daniel nodded. If there'd been any chance that those people were still in danger, he'd have suggested a full assault. When it came to the Goa'uld, he'd become as aggressive as he'd accused Jack of being when the two men had first met. A fact that he studiously avoided thinking about. He wasn't the same man he'd been seven years ago, when he'd walked into the SGC for the first time. And the changes weren't always comfortable to admit to.

The team settled around the table, gave their full attention to the general. "Colonel Ronson reports that the 'war games' haven't yet been started. It seems they're waiting for SG-1 to 'come out and play'," he said, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Can we, sir?" Jack asked eagerly.

The general chuckled. "Not before you do a few chores. One of the teams that accompanied the pilots to P9Y 432 has located the ruins of what might be a city built by the Ancients. It seems that they were able to recognize several of the markings that Doctor Jackson has taught all SG teams to be on the lookout for. Only two buildings are above water, the rest of what appears to be a village is submerged. From the reports I've received, the majority of the ruins are buried in silt. There's enough to take a look at. The deepest area is six feet, easily accessed with snorkel gear."

"If I find anything of importance?" Daniel asked.

"Then I'll authorize a qualified diving team to uncover as much as possible, and hopefully bring any artifacts to the surface."

The young archaeologist nodded his approval.

"When you've determined whether or not this is a site worth a closer look, then SG-1 will take part in the war games. Doctor Jackson, you and Casey will be observing from an old, abandoned scout ship. Life support and communications work; however, the engines are shot. The ship will be 'anchored', and from there you and Casey will monitor the maneuvers, and take note of any problems you might see. You'll also serve as score keepers."

Casey grinned, looked at Jack. Who grinned in return. 

"How much for a good score?" he teased.

"More than you can afford," she tossed back. Their teammates laughed around them.

"We need the Prometheus and those 302's on the job, people. I'd like to see that happen as soon as possible. Complete the war games, ride the Prometheus home, and we can send it out on patrol," General Hammond said. "Embark in thirty minutes."

"Yes, sir," Jack replied. "You heard the man, campers. Let's get ready. With your permission, sir?"

"Dismissed," the general said.

The team filed out of the briefing room, headed for supply. Daniel was already excitedly speculating that the Ancients may have abandoned the city that was now ruins specifically because of the flooding. Jack interrupted the flow of theories and conjecture with the repeated question of how long the archaeologist planned to poke around the old rocks, obviously more interested in taking an F-302 up for flight.

Casey checked her pack, made certain that her deck of playing cards, and her stash of instant coffee and powdered creamer, which she had combined with sugar, were in place.

Jack turned to the seer, MREs in both hands. "Okay, Radar, how long?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Two days."

The colonel scowled. "That's how long the general has cleared us for. I need to know how long we're actually going to be gone."

"Two days."

"You're sure?"

She looked up. "Nope. But unless I get an information dump in the next five minutes, that's what I'm packing for."

Daniel snickered, Sam giggled, and Teal'c chose to turn his back, pretending to ignore the entire conversation.

"You're a smartass, Jackson," Jack grumped.

"Yep. But you love me anyway."

"I so do not."

"Oh, you do so. Face it, Jack, you're crazy about me."

"You drive me crazy," he corrected. "Big difference."

"You wouldn't want it any other way. Why, I'll bet you'd actually miss me if something happened!"

"Let's find out, shall we?"

"Sorry, she stays with me," Daniel interjected firmly.

"Hey, two for one deal! I like that idea. Because you're both a pain in my ass."

"That would be 'pains-in-the-ass', Jack. Plural." Daniel pointed out.

"You are such a pain in my ass," Jack sighed.

"I won't touch that with a ten foot pole," Casey retorted. "Yes, I will-"

Daniel clamped his hand over his Wife's mouth. "Let's not upset the colonel, babe. He's in charge of duty rotation."

Jack gave the young seer a triumphant grin.

"But I was only going to say-" Casey started, as soon as Daniel dropped his hand. Which she found back against her face immediately.

"I'd like to get some sleep while we're on this mission," Daniel growled, although everyone in the room could see the laughter in his eyes.

Casey rolled hers, then nodded. She opened her mouth to speak, only to have Daniel object.

"Uh uh. Don't say it."

"I suppose I have to let it hit the floor and die."

"Yep."

"It was funny."

"I'm sure it was."

"Such a waste of a great comeback," she sighed. She stared at a spot on the floor. "Goodbye, little comeback. You died before your time."

It was more than Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c could take. They burst into laughter. Jack threw his arm around Casey's neck, pulled her close. "You are such a smartass!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Casey replied. Which sent the supply clerks into fits of laughter.

Three extra packs were filled with snorkeling gear for the five of them, as well as ropes and extra flashlights. Daniel grabbed two cameras made specifically for taking underwater photos, along with extra batteries and memory sticks. Packs ready to go, they shrugged the straps over their shoulders, headed for the armory to pick up their weapons, each of the male members of the team carrying one of the extras.

A  A  A  A  A  A

Janet gently ran her hand over the baby-filled belly of their surprise guest. She could feel the baby moving. That was always an encouraging sign. The IV of magnesium sulfate was doing its job, or so it appeared. A dose of Pepto Bismo had been given as well, to ward off the nausea that the drug caused. Murphy, the only member on SG-6 who spoke Goa'uld fluently, had been tasked with helping to communicate with the distraught woman and her equally worried husband.

It hadn't been easy to do a full exam on the woman...she'd been terrified. Murphy, bless his heart, had remained on the other side of the curtain, and had continued to translate. The first exam had been promising...the woman was dilated, but not at an alarming rate, considering she was seven and a half months along. Many women dilated to one or two centimeters and remained at that stage for the entire third trimester.

Seeing to it that the woman continued to drink water - she was already on her second bottle, had helped as well. Dehydration could often be a factor in pre-term labor. Janet wasn't taking any chances, she was covering every base she possibly could.

The stress the woman was under, probably the single largest factor in this particular case, was aggravated by the fact that her two children were being treated for injuries sustained during their escape from the Jaffa. While she finally understood that she and her family were safe, not being able to see her oldest son, knowing that he had been hit by rock shards, a result of a staff weapon blast, kept her blood pressure much higher than was desirable, given her condition at the moment.

The older boy had suffered a serious stomach wound, and was in surgery. Dr Warner was one of the best, and Janet had no doubt that the child would fully recover. The younger boy had suffered cuts and bruises, the result of his father literally tossing him into nearby shrubs, in an attempt to protect and hide him from the Goa'uld. Janet had carefully explained, through Murphy, that both children were going to be fine.

When the klaxons began to wail, she looked up, rolled her eyes. "Now what?"

"SG-1 is getting ready to go on a mission," one of the nurses said.

"Murphy, let them know what's going on, tell her there's nothing to be afraid of," Janet said, running for the door. "I'll be right back!"

She slid into the door of the elevator, slashed her ID card through the reader. Not this time, damn it! She was not going to get side tracked, and unable to deliver the results of that damned test! Daniel and Casey needed to know!

"Chevron six, locked," Walter called out.

"All flight results will be recorded by the onboard computers," General Hammond was saying. "I want you to push those ships, Colonel. We have to know their limitations, and any problems before we get into a pissing match with the Goa'uld."

"If our little run-in with Meehorny's weenies was anything to judge by, the F-302's more than pass the test," Jack said, intentionally butchering the Goa'uld's name...as usual.

Casey tried to bite back her giggle. "Little Freudian slip, Colonel?"

Daniel ducked his head. Sam became suddenly interested in her bootlaces. Teal'c stared stoically at the wall behind the Stargate, although his cheek was twitching visibly.

Jack coughed, sputtered, cast a glance at his CO. Who suddenly found it necessary to see what the techs were doing in the control room. "Not funny, Radar."

"Hey, don't blame me! You're the one who said it! I'm just trying to make certain you don't have anything on your mind but this mission," Casey said, tossing back the comment he had made to each of his 'kids' on several occasions.

He took a step closer. "I'll get you for that."

"Promises, promises. If my tally is correct, you're going to 'get me' twenty-seven times. And just exactly what do you mean by that, anyway? I've always wondered just what that particular phrase encompasses. I mean, what are you going to do? Trip me? Spit in my Wheaties? Toss me head first into a trash can? Or maybe you're going to dump ice water on me while I shower? Oooo...I know! You're going to hunt me down and give me a wedgie when I least expect it, right?" Casey asked, listing every school and summer camp prank that came to mind.

Daniel made a strange, strangling noise. No one was certain, but it sounded as if Teal'c had actually moaned. Jack looked at both, then back at Casey, his own cheek twitching. He'd be damned if he'd lose it here!

"Chevron seven, locked."

The event horizon opened, shimmered brightly. "Let's go campers. And let's see if we can lose the smartass on the way."

"Hey!" Casey protested.

"Attitude," Jack said quickly, grinning over his shoulder as he started up the ramp. "Lose the smartass attitude."

Janet raced into the room. In such a rush to get the news to Daniel and Casey, she blurted out the first words that crossed her mind. "Swimmer alert!" She blanched when everyone in the room turned to stare at her.

For a moment no one spoke. Jack practically gaped at the tiny woman. What the heck does Doc mean by that? Yes, the team was going to be doing a little swimming. But what was with the 'alert' part? "Uh, yeah, Doc, we have snorkel gear," he said, a confused frown on his face.

She shook her head. This wasn't going to be easy. She could demand that they wait, so that she could talk to them. But then the general would want to know what was going on. This was about as personal as it could get, and considering the circumstances, she didn't want to have to say anything in front of these Marines. They weren't intentionally cruel, but this would be something too easy to tease Daniel about, and god knew he didn't need that. He'd been through the rumor mill enough...had suffered greatly as a result. "Casey don't you dare miss a shot. Not one. Ever."

"I'll have you know I've been practicing," Casey replied, slightly offended at the implications. And not a little confused as to why Janet would be concerned about her aim in the first place. "I have my sharp-shooter certificate!"

Janet closed her eyes. Opened them to see that the team was nearly at the top of the ramp. "Daniel, you're potent!"

He paused. Had Janet lost her mind or something? Glanced around before sniffing one armpit. "I showered this morning," he said, just as confused as his teammates.

"Must be that new aftershave," Jack teased. Which smelled exactly like Casey's perfume, he thought. Can't hold a woman that close and not have some of it rub off, Space Monkey, he laughed silently.

"Told you we should have bought the other one," Daniel hissed in Casey's direction.

She rolled her eyes. "I love that one on you, and right now, Stud Muffin, you're not even wearing any."

Sam and Teal'c had disappeared through the 'gate. Daniel was looking at her as if she'd lost her mind. Jack was tugging on his arm. There went Casey...Oh, no. She couldn't let him walk through that 'gate not knowing! She couldn't deal with that. Frustrated, moving dangerously close to anger, Janet put her hands on her hips. "Daniel, you're not sterile! You've got more swimmers than any man I've ever tested!"

Her voice echoed in a suddenly quiet room, Daniel had one second to realize what she'd said, before a grinning Jack yanked him into the event horizon.

Later, not even careful examination of the security tapes could determine just exactly who had laughed first. The result was a group of Marines literally rolling on the floor with laughter.

Goddamn it! She hadn't meant for it to come out that way! Janet cleared her throat, in that way that could silence even a group of wise-cracking Marines. "Know this...if I hear one word of this through the grapevine, if any of you harass Doctor Jackson or his wife in any way, you will all be given a full physical, including a prostate exam, every time you return from a mission. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" She cast an eye at the group in the control room, including them in her warning. That group suddenly found more important things to do than watch what was happening in the 'gate room.

Faces paled around her. Ferretti pulled himself to attention. "Yes, ma'am, we understand fully," he replied. He would personally kick the ass of the first man to mention anything regarding what had happened in the past three minutes.  He hated prostate exams!

A  A  A  A  A  A

Jack was snickering as they walked down the stairs. The wide-eyed look of surprise on Daniel's face was priceless, and had him wishing for a camera. He grabbed the young man's arm, as he was still facing the wrong direction. "Come on, O Fertile One. We have places to go, people to see, fighters to test."

Casey whirled around. Stared for a moment as the implications set in. Janet's strange comments echoed in her ears. She wasn't to miss a shot? Daniel was potent? Swimmers? With a squeal of absolute delight, her P90 hit the dirt at almost the same moment she leapt into her husband's arms, kissing him as if she'd never get the chance to do so again.

Daniel staggered back a step, his arms locking automatically around his Wife, his hands sliding down to cup her ass, as she wrapped her arms and legs around his body. Coherent thought fled in the wake of the kiss he was receiving, and in less than a heartbeat he was kissing her back.

Jack tapped on two shoulders. "Later. Although I suggest you be careful." His grin nearly split his face.

Her eyes sparkling with absolute joy, Casey lowered her legs.

Daniel held onto her until he was certain she was standing firmly on the ground. Couldn't help but grin as she swept up her weapon and nearly skipped to catch up with Sam.

"So, Danny-boy," Jack said, ignoring the very obvious eye-rolling. "If those little swimmers of yours are that potent, do you think they can overcome that birth control stuff? Hey, if that happens, would they be like super-sperm? Wear cute little capes and tights-"

"Bite me, Jack," Daniel replied, pushing his glasses up his nose and following after his Wife.

"Nah, that's Radar's job. Besides, O Fertile One, can't risk it. What if you knocked me up? How would you explain that to Radar? For that matter, Carter wouldn't be any too happy either. If anyone is gonna get me pregnant, it should be her."

He rolled his eyes again. "A little hard to get pregnant if you don't have a womb," Daniel retorted.

"Danny-boy, I've seen you...and little you ain't. And it's that hard part that could get us into trouble," Jack quipped, on a roll and fully enjoying every second.

"Jack," Daniel said, a warning tone in his voice.

"Besides, if you bit me, it'd be a blood thing. Probably settle in my heart. Move straight to my chest," Jack continued.

"Jack," Daniel said again, his voice just a bit louder, harder.

"Hey, you heard what Doc said. For all we know, those little buggers could be swimming around in your blood as well as that joy juice of yours-"

Teal'c made a strangled sound, did his best to keep his face passive.

"And if Arnie could do it, well, it could happen ya know."

"Arnie?"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger," Jack explained. He stopped, heaved a dramatic sigh. "Don't tell me you've never seen the movie 'Junior'."

"Fine, I won't tell you," Daniel retorted. "And just so your simple brain doesn't become too confused - it was a movie. As in not real. Prosthetics were used. Can't happen. I repeat, it cannot happen."

"I thought you hadn't seen it," Jack accused. "Besides, they said man walking on alien planets was pure science fiction and couldn't happen, and yet, here we are." He gave a grand sweep of his arm. "Beautiful, lush, wet, 432, and working with an honest-to-god alien. Uh, no offense, Teal'c."

"None taken," the Jaffa replied. "However, I would prefer to remain outside of this particular conversation."

"What, my pregnancy?" Jack asked innocently.

Another roll of blue eyes.

"Anyway, as I was saying, it could happen," Jack continued. "If those little buggers are in your blood, and you bit me...chances are the wee little nipper would grow right here in my chest."

"We'd have to kill you to get it out?" Daniel asked hopefully.

"Ha ha. No, Mr. Wise Ass. It would just come busting out," Jack said, waving his hand in front of his chest, mimicking the escape of some small creature. "Daddy!" he hollered in high falsetto, fluttering his hand against Daniel's cheek.

Daniel pushed the hand away. "If that happened, I'd shoot myself," he muttered.

"Uh uh. Won't work. Three days, remember? And in three days, our baby could be the size of a T-rex. You'd have missed all the firsts...his first steps, his first tooth, his first girlfriend. Nope, as DJ's mother I refuse to allow you to miss all those important milestones in our little monster's life!"

He grinned as a thought moved with lightening speed across his brain. "You know, if it was my Immortality that revived my sperm, then I can only imagine what your previously healthy ones are like."

"Perhaps, O'Neill, it would be wise to watch where you choose to urinate. There is a chance that your sperm could cause mutations in the vegetation of this planet," Teal'c said. With a perfectly straight face.

Jack blinked. Went slightly pale. Raised his arm in an attempt to get Sam's attention. "Um...Carter...Sam...just how effective are those shots you take?"

"Maybe you should be extra careful," Daniel teased, delighted to have turned the tables on his best friend and tormentor.

"She just had her period," Jack said smugly.

"Yeah? Did you make love to her as soon as she was finished?"

Jack looked absolutely panicked. "Oh, Sam! Wait up! How sure are you about those shots?"

Sam turned to face him. "As sure as I am that the sky is blue."

She couldn't have timed her comment more perfectly. One of the anomalies of this particular planet, one that the teams who had been waiting here had noted extensively in their reports, were the unusual and sudden atmospheric changes. A few seconds later the sky above them turned to a soft lilac, indicating sunset.

"Carter, that is so not funny!

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